WONDERFUL FANTASY CLUB
Blake Bobechko, MD
FIRST MOVE FUND
YOU/OPPONENT
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COINS
REMAINING
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MAP INVESTMENT
GOTHAM CITY
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Brawler / Duelist
MISSION STATEMENT
An eclectic team of heroes with the sole purpose of answering destiny’s call to protect, defend and bring balance to the UFF Multiverse.
BATTLE | SUBMIT YOUR STARTING LINEUP
How Team Wonderful Discovered the UFF Multiverse
and are Destined to Protect It
by Blake Bobechko
ACT I. THE MUTANTS!
Deep in the sewers of NYC, a lean-green-scientific-machine was tinkering with some salvaged alien Krang technology. This latest experiment found him effortlessly navigating through trans- dimensional space and time; the very building blocks of the UFF Multiverse. And like the extraordinary technological devices themselves, the consequences of this experiment would prove more than even Donatello could bargain for.
In a brilliant flash of light, a brown hulking beast suddenly stood towering above the ninja turtle.
In a brilliant flash of light, a brown hulking beast suddenly stood towering above the ninja turtle.
Big Slammu: Woah dude! I’ve never seen you in the Fission City sewers before.
Donatello: Fascinating terrestrial mutation; his gills appear servant to his ability to breath on land. Shredder must be messing around with mutagen again! Big Slammu: You look pretty aquatic yourself, little green dude. But what are you doing in my lair? And what’s with all the dojo gear? Donatello: Interesting! It’s possible that this ‘Fission City’ place you’re speaking of is a multiverse copy of New York City, where you are now. And, if you’re here from ‘Fission City’, there could be more cross over multiverse cities occupying the same transdimensional space as New York! Big Slammu: That’s radical! But who’s this shred head guy? He’s not working with Dr. Piranoid is he? That robo-punk gene-slammed me and my three brothers into sharks. Donatello: That sounds like our Shredder alright. He’s been building a mutant army for years trying to stop me and my three brothers. But if there are multiverse versions of our enemies, I bet there are more beings like us roaming around. We need to go top side, quick! Big Slammu: Jawsome! |
On the rooftops, Donatello and Slammu go out on patrol of the city, trying to assess the impact of the space-time altering event.
Donatello: This is strange... My locator tells we we’re still in NYC, but everything is a little
odd -- Antonio’s Pizza should be there, but instead, it’s called Gotham Pizza! Big Slammu: And check out these posters! Wrestlemania’s in town - And it’s happening RIGHT NOW!!!! Hop on, bro! |
Tearing through the concrete and asphalt like waves in the sea surface, Donnatello rides Big Slammu dorsal fin through the city to the Gotham City Stadium, were Wrestlemania is being hosted.
Donatello: This is odd, the poster said it was a sold out crowd, but the place is empty. Maybe the crowd was teleported elsewhere in the Multiversal rip.
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Hearing voices, a beast of a silhouette emerges behind them from the locker rooms. The colossal beast speaks: “Stadium’s not quite empty, brother.” Donny and Slammu turn around quickly and are star struck to see their mutual hero standing there in front of them.
Hulk Hogan: Hulkamania doesn’t understand what’s happened here today. I was hulking up to a leg drop in front of legions of little Hulkamaniacs, when suddenly they all vanished into thin air. I’ve gotta save those little Hulkamaniacs! I can’t let them down.
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Moved by Hulk Hogan’s passion for his inspired fan base, Big Slammu suggests that they take dramatic action. **the UFF commissioner blushes from the drama**
Big Slammu: Donny, we could gene-slam him?
Donatello: You mean mutagen? No way, that stuff is way too unstable. Hulk Hogan: Listen. I’ve been telling all my little Hulkmaniacs for years to say their prayers and eat their vitamins. It’s time I take my own advice. GENE SLAM THE HULKSTER! |
Not wanting to debate their childhood hero; an ethical guru in his own right, Slammu and Donny crack open a canister of mutagen and pour it all over Hogan.
Suddenly, Hogan’s 24" pythons start to pulsate... a massive brown wingspan shoots out from behind the behemoth of a man... a fearsome beak erupts out from under his handlebar moustache... his right boot bursts open to expose a talon. Donny and Slammu jolt back in shock. Using his talon to tear his shirt like paper, he authoritatively booms:
Suddenly, Hogan’s 24" pythons start to pulsate... a massive brown wingspan shoots out from behind the behemoth of a man... a fearsome beak erupts out from under his handlebar moustache... his right boot bursts open to expose a talon. Donny and Slammu jolt back in shock. Using his talon to tear his shirt like paper, he authoritatively booms:
WHAT’CHA GONNA DO WHEN THE HULKSTER SOARS WILD ON YOU, BROTHER!!!?
Everyone: HE’S A FREAKEN’ BALD EAGLE! [see Exhibit A: Why Mutagen Would Transform Hulk Hogan into a Biker Bald Eagle Humanoid Version of Himself]. |
ACT II. LAW ABIDING CITIZEN
In a stately manor, a red telephone lights up, ringing with an all too familiar tone. An elderly butler answers: “Yes, sir. I will tell him, sir.”
Alfred: Master Bruce, it seems your presence is requested at police headquarters. Chief O’Hara was quite beside himself when he called. It seems a big blue figure is hopping roof top to roof top causing significant structural concerns.
Dick: Holy property damage, Bruce! Bruce: Strange circumstance, indeed, given that all known super criminals have been safely put away in Gotham State Penitentiary. Nonetheless, there isn’t a moment to lose. To the Batcave, Robin! |
With that, millionaire Bruce Wayne pulls back a seemingly decorative bust of William Shakespeare to reveal a hidden red button. Pressing it, a bookshelf slide aside, revealing two poles to their subterranean headquarters.
Now in their secret cave, Batman and Robin leap for the Batmobile.
Now in their secret cave, Batman and Robin leap for the Batmobile.
Robin: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.
Alfred: Wait sir! What shall I tell Aunt Harriet? She will be most perturbed when Master Dick is not present for the meeting of the High Tea Society. Batman: Of course, Alfred. Tell Aunt Harriet that the Gotham Bird Watching Society has spotted a rare Blue Footed Booby at Gotham Pier. We may be a while. Alfred: Very good, sir. |
With that, the Batmobile’s tail pipes erupt into flames as the Dynamic Duo race toward the city at full speed.
Following a pattern of roof top debris, the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder pull up in front of Gotham’s Dick’s Sporting Goods, where a large blue arachnid man was forcing himself in. A man wearing a goalie mask inside was standing in his way.
Following a pattern of roof top debris, the Caped Crusader and the Boy Wonder pull up in front of Gotham’s Dick’s Sporting Goods, where a large blue arachnid man was forcing himself in. A man wearing a goalie mask inside was standing in his way.
The Tick: Greetings! I... am The Tick! And you shouldn’t be in this store after dark, citizen. You could be accused of breaking and entering!
Casey Jones: You’re the law breaker, Law Breaker! And you’re going to pay for that property damage you caused, for trespassing on rooftops, and for jaywalking to the store! Eat puck, dirty law breaker! |
With that, the goalie masked man slapped a hockey puck right into the Tick’s teeth. Overhearing the altercation, the Dynamic Duo leap from their Batmobile to keep the peace.
Batman: Gentlemen, it seems that you are both respecters of the law. And as duly deputized agents of the law, we commend your care... it is with that insight that I suggest that maybe your disagreement is simply a misunderstanding.
Robin: Batman, these guys are causing damage to private and public property. Batman: Justice, not revenge, is the way to peace in our confused world, Robin. And what better opportunity to extend the olive branch, when so little actual division has arisen? Robin: Gosh, now I see that you’re right Batman. Batman: Furthermore, these men would seem to be welcome and long overdue allies in our fight against crookedness. The Tick: Something strange has happened to The City. In all this confusion, I have seemingly misplaced my faithful sidekick, Arthur. Batman: Gentlemen, if you will fulfill your civic duty and become duly deputized agents of the law, we will see that those citizen impacted by these events today are... properly compensated. The Tick: Destiny's powerful hand has made the bed of my future, and it's up to me to lie in it. I am destined to be a superhero. To right wrongs, and to pound two-fisted justice into the hearts of evildoers everywhere. And you don't fight destiny. No sir. And, you don't eat crackers in the bed of your future, or you get all... scratchy. Robin: Careful Batman, I think this blue guy is nuts. The Tick: I’m not crazy, chum. I’ve merely gone sane in a crazy world! This Jones fellow is just arachnophobic. Casey Jones: You want another puck in the face? I've never even looked at another guy before. The Tick: Then it is clearly destiny that has brought us together. Let's hang ten for justice! |
Firm hand shakes and strongly clapped high fives ensue among the Dynamic Duo and their newly deputized agents of the law.
** The UFF Commissioner can sense the weight of this moment, as these unlikely heroes band together for something bigger than themselves**
** The UFF Commissioner can sense the weight of this moment, as these unlikely heroes band together for something bigger than themselves**
ACT III. THE GANG'S ALL HERE
On patrol, these new allies stop beside a seemingly insignificant alley way. A corridor which haunts Batman with painful memories... Crime Alley; the place where his parents were ruthlessly murdered. Only this time, a different breed of stranger emerges from the shadows…
Big Slammu: I hope you benchwarmers didn’t come for trouble.
Donatello: Easy Slammu, they might be able to tell us what’s happened to our City. The Tick: You mean, The City. Robin: No. He means Gotham City. And just who are you calling Benchwarmers? Donatello: Just as I suspected, New York City has been merged with all these places that you all call home. Batman: Yet, it’s still Gotham... This alley is too familiar to me. It’s where this crime fighter was born. Donatello: This is the alley I was born in! The ooze that mutated me into my present turtle- self leaked down through those sewer grates. It was then that I was trained as a ninja to fight crime. |
**Batman’s eyes well up.** **The Tick erupts into tears.*
The Tick: Brothers!!!
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**sobbing** **blowing nose**
**the UFF Commissioner has to adjust his seat. The drama is actually tangible**
**the UFF Commissioner has to adjust his seat. The drama is actually tangible**
The Tick: You know, everybody was a baby once. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you've got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.
Hulk Hogan: Did someone say brother, Brother? |
Suddenly, a massive figure from above dive bombs in, issuing a hypersonic leg drop to The Tick through a brick wall. Unwaveringly, The Tick rises to his feat and brushes off the brick dust
The Tick: I’m sorry sir, but you may not be aware that I am nigh invulnerable.
Hulk Hogan: That’s quite the recovery, Brother! We’re putting together an elite team to help rescue all the little Hulkamaniacs who are somewhere out there. And we want you! The Tick: It seems that Destiny has her hand on my back, and she's pushing. |
**the UFF Commissioner’s spine is tingling with anticipation**
ACT IV. CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Under their new crime fighting name Wonderful FC (that’s fantasy club) our eclectic team of heroes answers destiny’s call to protect and defend the UFF Multiverse. Being later joined by Jedi Master Yoda and the White Power Ranger, they set off with the sole purpose of bringing balance to the UFF.
Will your team be their next adventure?
Will your team be their next adventure?
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